I’m Sorry I Offended You

Dear new mom,

I’m sorry it annoyed you when I looked at your children and told you to enjoy every minute because they grow up so fast. I wasn’t there when your baby had a diaper blowout the one time you forgot the diaper bag at home. I wasn’t there when your toddler decided that the grocery store check out lane was the perfect place to assert herself because you denied her bubble gum. I wasn’t there when you canceled your dinner date with your girlfriends again because your baby refuses to take a bottle.

I missed seeing the angst on your face when you called your boss to let them know you wouldn’t make it into the office again. Your preschooler started school, which means they’re sick seemingly every other week and by default, so are you. I also wasn’t around when you and your husband found yourselves at odds because you keep putting the kids first. “They’ll only be little for a short time,” you say. I wasn’t there when you cried yourself to sleep last night because somewhere along the way, it feels like you’ve lost a little bit of who you are. You love your babies fiercely but you sometimes mourn who you once were.

Instead I see you and your precious little one or ones all smiles, and for a moment it appears that I am convinced that all is right within the world—your world. Although I wasn’t there to witness the moments that called the preciousness of the early years into question, I want you to know that I’m right there with you in the trenches of motherhood, clawing my way out some days and slowing down to linger other days.

I know sometimes it’s irritating when strangers, family and friends stare at your sweet wrinkly newborn or wide-eyed wonder of a toddler declaring that these are the days. Do they know that you fish things out of the bathtub that no one should ever have to fish? But they—these days—really truly are the days. We say it because it’s true.

Continue reading I’m Sorry It Offended You When I Said to Enjoy Every Minute at mom.me

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