My Husband Is Not Responsible for my Happiness

“When you aren’t depending on your husband to fill you up, then he can make mistakes and you are still okay. He can say the wrong thing and you can forgive him quickly. He can struggle and question his direction and you don’t fall into despair. He can be your partner and your friend, because he does not have to be your savior.”

-Lysa TerKeurst, Am I Messing Up my Kids? … and Other Questions Every Mom Asks

I have read those words over and over again. I’ve read them both in my head and aloud hoping that the repetition would result in each of those words embedding in my memory forever. Words, ready for retrieval during those moments that I needed to be reminded that contrary to what movies and romantic dramas may lead me to believe it is not the husband’s job to make his wife happy.

I wanted that notion to stick because so much of what I did and said suggested that I believed otherwise. When I met my husband, the mere thought of him made me giddy. I felt so happy when I was with him in a way I had never experienced before in a romantic relationship. He did, indeed, make me happy. And because he did such a great job at making me happy, that became my expectation—that he would always make me happy. That his main objective in life would be to make me happy and strive to ensure that my face was always with a smile.

It sounds so selfish as I type it but to be fair, I wanted to make my husband happy, too. To a fault. I wanted to make him happier than he had ever been. I’m a people pleaser by nature so I charged myself with the task of making the people I cared about feel special and loved. If they were happy with me then I was happy with me.

On the flipside, if they weren’t happy with me, I wasn’t happy with me.

Continue reading 6 Reasons Your Husband Should NOT Be What Makes You Happy over at YourTango.

 

 

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