My First Leap of Faith in 2013

Yesterday as I gripped the steering wheel of my car my heart raced. I was headed back to my workplace only this time it was to say goodbye. Goodbyes can be hard even when you are happy to be moving on. I was blessed with some amazing co-workers and a supervisor who supported me and looked out for me, even more so, during a difficult pregnancy. I was blessed to meet some amazing families and to be able to make a difference. But I was tired mentally and emotionally and sometimes I came home feeling depleted.

And then there was her.

After giving birth to my Littlest Miss I found myself at home, on maternity leave and after acquiring a writing job with Babble, living the dream. But the thing about dreams is you wake up.

For months I was consumed with the idea of leaving my baby girl. My oldest daughter was eight so I was no stranger to how fast time flew by. The fact that I became pregnant when my husband and I had finally settled into the idea of having a one and only still baffles me. Yes I said baffle. It baffles me (and yes I do know how people get pregnant:). Suddenly my world is filled with teething tablets, swaddle blankets and diaper blowouts. And while I have been through this before in some ways it feels foreign and familiar at the same time. It also feels right. So right. Despite not having had a real night’s sleep since before I was pregnant and having much less money than I did before, my days have been a dream come true. I have a new found joy, a joy that was lost in the haste of my work days as a I struggled to balance my workload and my family life, knowing all the while I was replaceable.

Yesterday I chose family. I know life is going to change drastically. And by drastically I mean we are in for some major changes, not just reducing trips to the mall or dinners out (although maternity leave helped prepare me for that) but downsizing, me still having “nothing to wear,” and I may never get that Louie or go on a vacation anytime soon. And as much of an adjustment as that will be I don’t even care anymore because the greatest joy I have experienced to date has not been in the obtainment of designer clothes, or expensive dinners (although I will admit I do love food) but in the faces of my children and my husband who are finally seeing glimpses of the mommy and wife I was before the spark in my eyes faded because I just didn’t know how to deal quite so well anymore.

As I write this the future doesn’t look as laid out as it once did. The security of my county job no longer there, instead I have swapped it for freelancing and a little uncertainty but it is; however, looking awfully bright. I know I will face my share of challenges this year, nothing has come easy yet but I am actually living my dream and if you asked me just a couple months ago if that was even possible, I’d say it wasn’t likely.  But it happened and while it may not entail some of the things I once thought it should, the parts that need to be there are – primarily my girls and my husband and more time with them.

I told you I was going to take more risks this year and I just took a big one. It could go all sorts of ways from here on out, I know, but for now I am going to enjoy every moment I can because tomorrow isn’t promised and because things can change at any time. I’m going to ride til the wheels fall off! And keep taking it all in.

I am thankful for the doors that have opened and the opportunities that I have been presented with. I am thankful that I will get to invest more in my family and that my days will be spent doing what I love (working to get better at it) and being with the people I love.

Prayers and good thoughts are appreciated. This is the biggest leap of faith I have taken in some time. My dream is now not just a dream anymore, it has been made real and my heart is overjoyed.

More on all of this later. For now I have to go pinch myself just to make sure this is all happening. I am officially a WAHM. Holla!

20130104-081642.jpg{My cube was next to some lovely people but I am excited about working alongside and having lunch with this little lovley for as long as I possibly can.}

p.s. Thank you Mr. Briscoe.

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Comments

  1. So excited for and proud of you! I wish you peace in your heart as you work your way through this new part of your journey. I’m sure the uncertainty is difficult but I know you and your family will continue to figure out what is right for you, ever changing as that may be! :)
    Jackie recently posted..DIY Ornaments – 2012My Profile

    • Jackie I can’t thank you enough. You have been there to support me from the minute we “met” and I can’t thank you enough. Sending you lots of hugs. Thanks for being you! xo

  2. I’m so happy and excited for you!!! Cheers to dreams coming true!!! I’m working on mine. I’ll get there soon.

    P.S. love that you used “diaper blowouts.” I was just talking about those this morning with a co-worker.

    • You’ll most certainly get there! We’ve got lots of work to do this year :) Proud of you and yes, diaper blowouts are no joke!

  3. Yay!! So happy for you and can’t wait to follow your journey–because I’m trying to walk it too! And OMG your daughter is adorable!! Good luck!
    Chaunie@TInyBlueLine recently posted..Holy New YearMy Profile

    • Thank you Chaunie! We shall follow each other! Praying everything works out. Giving it my all! That’s all I can do.

  4. It’s one thing to have a dream, but to actually have the courage to chase it is a blessing! You make me proud as a woman, a mother & a Friend. I’m just as proud of Chris for being so supportive. Good job Bricoes, you’ve inspired me! :)

    • I am going hard my friend. That way I can look back and not wonder what could have been. At least in this case anyway. Your words mean so much and I am thankful to have you as my friend. It really means so much to me that you take the time to read my words. You and my friend Maria amaze me. All you have on your plates and you still make time to read and comment on my posts. Please know that even if you don’t or can’t I am grateful and know I have your support. I am blessed to know you. And thank you for offering to set up a salon for me and offering to let me borrow some dresses. Seriously that is so kind of you. I’m going to learn how to be frugal and fashionable. I will STOP wearing pajamas all day! :) Anyway before I write a novel thank you again. So much.

  5. Opps I forgot the “s” in Briscoe. Oh & another thing… I have plenty dresses you can borrow if you want to go out. Need your hair done, I have a flat iron for that too, we can set up a salon in the kitchen, I got chu girl! Frugal mommies can be cute too! Hehe :)

  6. Congratulations on the LEAP of faith. Once we have a vision, we must know when it’s the right time to follow God’s path laid out for us. You have a beautiful family and the time spent at home will be worth more money that the job you left behind. Live life with no regrets. You are an inspiration to many.

  7. Krishann,
    This is amazing! You did what I think so many women want to do and are afraid to do, it takes a leap of faith. I really admire you. You’re living your dream! You left a job that provided financial security and followed your heart to do what you really love. I think about it all the time but I am too scared. Thanks for sharing this and the post about your dream to be a stay at home mom and a writer, it was beautifully written. I like how much gratitude you share, I feel it. And your joy for your family is infectious. Hope things are going great.
    xo Kara

    • Kara thank you so much for taking the time to give me such beautiful genuine words of encouragement and support. I must admit it hasn’t always been easy but I am so glad about my decision. Even if it doesn’t last forever this time has been priceless. I can relate to being scared but we will never know unless we try. I think you’ll know if/when the time is right. You are a beautiful intelligent person and I have no doubt that you have the ability to make your dreams a reality. I am so glad to have met you. Reading your comment was just what I needed as I sit here working at 1 in the morning :) xo

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