{Hers} Late Night Rambling

Right now I am up wide awake. Not just because I feel the urge to tinkle, what feels like, every 30 minutes but also because I continue to struggle with the impact pregnancy has had on my body. As I struggle to breathe because I feel like my insides are being squished I can’t help but wonder how I’m going to get through these next two months. It has been a journey, each day a battle. I honestly can’t recall the last time I’ve physically felt good.

I keep reminding myself of a visit during which my doctor reminded me that I’ve done this before so she knew I had it in me. I also know that once I meet our little angel the pain and discomfort I’ve endured for these weeks will pale in comparison to the joy I will feel knowing God has blessed us with another precious little one.

Right now our Littlest Miss is moving all over the place and although her wiggles tend to hurt a little I do find comfort in them. I remember on my birthday laying in the ER bed terrified that something was wrong. Thankfully we made it through that day and the next and now here we are -30 weeks and pretty soon our eyes will meet and I will fall more deeply in love than I already am now.

My to-do list is growing longer by the minute and each day I eagerly hope that I will wake up feeling good. Although my body feels ready a part of me worries how I will handle life with two little loves.

This morning the Mr., Little Miss and I went in for a well baby exam. I watched my child’s face light up as our midwife asked her if she could hear her sisters heart beat. She nodded and talked to me about it all the way to her Gana’s house. I smiled and carried the joy that moment brought me throughout my day.

Tonight as I laid in bed feeling sick I remember awakening to little hands rubbing my belly. “I just want to be close to you”, were my daughter’s words. It’s amazing how much love that little heart holds.

By nature I’m a worrier but I also know by experience I’m an overcomer too. I am sure life with two will have its share of challenges but at the same time, as I have said before, I believe that it will be twice as sweet.

I don’t want to be the grumpy miserable emotional pregnant lady but for me, the reality is that pregnancy is tough. For the most part physically I feel terrible. I am constantly texting my husband and my mom venting and they are constantly on the other end encouraging me. I am not trying to be a downer nor am I ungrateful but I’m human. I’m simply trying to get through and allow the moments of joy that I do get to experience along the way along with God’s grace and the support of my family and friends to carry me through…

I feel like I’m rambling now and even if I made no sense at all it felt good to write :)

Now for some TUMS…

{29 weeks 4 days}