{Hers} For The Better

Over the past couple months I’ve become nocturnal. I’m exhausted and yet I find myself up unable to fall asleep for at least an hour or two. I make my way to the bathroom (it’s true pregnant women seem to always have to pee, or at least I do), check on the Little Miss – notorious for kicking off her covers at night, frown at my husband who is peacefully slumbering and snoring beside and resort to passing the remaining time on my iPhone. In fact that’s how I’m writing this post right now.

This week we reached the 21 week mark which still feels a bit surreal given I was convinced that for our family 1 would not be the loneliest number. Despite “concerns” voiced by others that I “needed to give Chris a baby” he in his heart already had his baby and the two of us were content and happy with our family of three.

Over the past few weeks we embraced our surprise. As I struggled through morning – all day – sickness with each passing day things became more real.

I really am pregnant.

And on my birthday as we drove to ER scared that something was terribly wrong I realized how much I wanted this afterall. I had already fallen for the little person growing inside me. So had her daddy and her big sister.

A couple hours later we left the hospital with an image in our mind of our newest family member. They did an ultrasound (things had been rough and I already had three) and our baby, who was “probably a girl” according to a previous ultrasound, was moving all over the place. “Just like her big sister”, I thought. I remember the way my daughter’s eyes lit up as she watched her sister that afternoon and all the excited questions that followed. “Did I do that too mommy?” I also remember her asking me from time to time, even from the very beginning “Is baby gonna be okay?”

She rubs my belly at night praying for her sister and hugs it telling her good morning when she gets up. She’s so excited and her daddy and I are so grateful.

So we are halfway there and praying that God willing come August we’ll make eyes with our angel. We are due August 29th, the day after our wedding anniversary!

This week my belly seems to have “popped” for lack of a better word. All the sudden people are asking and eager to share in the excitement, it’s really very sweet when people are genuinely happy for you.

I’m still struggling with nausea but it’s easing up and I’m eating much better than I was weeks, even just days ago. For months I would just cry and cry because being sick 24 hours a day was wearing on me. I haven’t thrown up in weeks and while other symptoms are emerging or showing no signs of stopping my two partners have been doing everything they can to comfort me.

Wednesday night the Mr. and Little Miss felt our Littlest move for the first time. The Little Miss broke out in laughter after describing what had occurred by saying “it’s natural”. For me it was a special moment, a treasured moment because I was able to share it with the two of them.

Tonight I thought about how much our lives are going to change but I believe in my heart it will be for the better.

Our love, respect and admiration for one another has grown and this little baby has brought the three of us even closer together.

We have some tough decisions ahead of us realize that challenges and changes are a part of life but for us family is everything – is most important – and God has blessed us with one another for a reason. It was His plan that our family be made up of the people that make it. He knew just what He was doing and for that, and so many things, I thank Him.

At this moment the Littlest Miss has stopped moving all over the place. The Mr. has stopped snoring, the Little Miss is soundly sleeping and Stella has opted not to sleep in her doggy bed yet again but at least she’s no longer walking throughout the house (her paws on the floor also help keep me up at night).

In my moment of silence I can’t help but say “Thank you”. The tears I cry at this moment are tears of joy. He’s brought us this far and surely He will carry us the rest of the way.