Every year as the calendar changes from September to October I experience an increase in anxiety and I start working on how I will once again articulate my reason why. Why we don’t celebrate Halloween. And yes, I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation and yet everyone seems to want one. I love Harvest but not Halloween. This isn’t a debate it’s just my own personal belief system. As a child in my home Halloween was not a holiday we celebrated. My brother and I stayed home from school and from the window watched our peers walk to school dressed in their costumes. At night my grandmother would check to make sure the porch light was off and my brother and I would climb into her car or our mom’s car and drive to church for a Harvest Festival. We dressed up as angels, Bible characters, athletes, babies, 50’s girls – anything that my mom could make using the items that we already had at home. We never dressed as something scary and not once in our lives have we gone trick or treating. As a child I would tell my mom to just wait because when I became a grown up I was going to trick or treating and when I had children I would let them do the same. Only I didn’t. I never went trick or treating and at the age of 7 my daughter has never done the same. I’ve contemplated letting her go but in the end have always decided to go with my gut. When people ask her if she celebrates Halloween she says no. For her it’s a matter of fact and nothing to be sad over or ashamed of. She doesn’t complain or ask me why we don’t and since she is not a fan of the scary she’s okay with it. I do let her go to school. I do let her eat candy and I do let her dress up so really she isn’t missing out on much. I’ve even let her go to her friend’s costume party last year. They toned down the scary for us. This weekend as I sat in the congregation of a church I had been visiting they spoke of a Harvest Festival. My daughter had never gone to one because the church we have been attending didn’t do anything and instead we would have our own harvest or praise parties at home. The announcer shared that they weren’t into the “terror” often associated with Halloween. Neither am I. If you took out all the scary parts it would be right up my alley. Who doesn’t love to dress up and eat candy?! They also shared that just like their friends our kids want candy. Um I want candy too. They also want to dress up. For us that seems to be what it boils down to. My Little doesn’t have the desire to trick or treat, to sit and listen to scary stories or do the Monster Mash. Instead she wants to dress up and eat candy. I’ve always felt conflicted about Halloween and am in the process of finding what works for our family; not based on what our parents say but what we say and what we feel in our hearts. My upbringing has a lot to do with it I’m sure. Yup. I’m sure. So this weekend I decided to make peace with pumpkins after all we love going to the pumpkin patch and while we can do without the tricks we are all about treats – especially chocolate ones. After church my daughter came to me and told me all about the festival and how she wanted to go. This mama’s happy knowing there’s something she can participate in that will make her happy. Something I feel good about allowing her to be a part of. She would be able to be around other children who share, or are being raised with, the same beliefs as she and her family. Every family has to what’s right for them.
As for my daughter come Monday she will dress up and march around in the school parade with her friends, she will eat cupcakes with orange colored icing and bring home spider rings and erasers she will probably even put those orange teeth back in her mouth she was given at a recent birthday party – the ones with the pointy teeth. I know. Borderline scary huh? Monday night she will spend the evening with me and her daddy enjoying some of the candy she received the day before at the Harvest Festival. I’ve decided to make peace with pumpkins. For some they represent a night of fright and darkness but for us they represent a time of harvest, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, pumpkin pancakes, and pumpkin ice cream. Yup– definitely making peace because those are some tasties that we do not want to give up. Now if you’d excuse me there’s a box of Trader Joe’s pumpkin bread mix and its got our names on it. Happy Harvest!
I just had to get this out. It sort of hangs over me like a black and orange cloud. Everyone has something to say but in the end my responsibility lies to my family and who I believe it is that we answer to and just because I don’t like scary stuff doesn’t mean I don’t like fun costumes, fun sized Twix and cupcakes with orange and black sprinkles. Just saying.
I’m linking up with Heather today for JustWrite.
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I’m not a fan of Halloween either. I have no moral or religious objections to it, but I just don’t care for it. We didn’t trick or treat as kids because we lived too far out in the country, but our church did have a Fall Festival every year. We still do and that’s what we usually do. Last year was the first year my kids wanted to go trick or treating. (We now live in a neighborhood and it is THE neighborhood to be in for Halloween. Like CRAZY tons of people. They block off the entrance and people park a mile or more down and walk in. We keep our light off, but last year our neighbor gave out $200 of candy. TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS! ARE THEY INSANE?????) Anyway, last year a friend had a hayride for their kids, so my kids tagged along on that. They were more excited about the hay ride than anything else. I love the harvest season, but I am not looking forward to having to put up stakes in my yard just so people won’t come onto my property. :-(
Bridget recently posted..Enough of Enough
$200 worth of candy is insane!! It sounds like your neighborhood does go all out. Wowsers! Clearly they are fans of Halloween :) It’s funny I always feel like I am the only one who doesn’t really care for all of the things associated with the day (with the exception of candy. I love candy. ) but clearly there are other people who aren’t so into it either for various reasons… I’m with you – I love the season. So much.
Sorry you have to put of stakes :(
Wishing you a happy harvest lady ;)
I LOVE Halloween, it is one of my favorite holidays. But I agree with you. You have to do what’s right for YOUR family and YOUR child and I totally support that, no matter how different it is from our own rituals. Beautiful post!
CJ recently posted..Just Write – This Time
Thank you for that! Really :)
I’ve never associated Halloween with fright. It was always about dressing up goofy and asking for candy politely. There was never any ‘tricking’ where I was raised. It was all good wholesome fun.
Glad you’ve found peace with an old demon.
Cheryl recently posted..This is so very wrong on soooo many levels I’m going to do it . . . twice
Thanks Cheryl! I realize that not everyone is into the whole scary thing nor is everyone looking to do some tricking and treating. I think its great that you seem to have put a more positive lighthearted feel to the holiday! Wish more people did!
I’m glad I found peace too :) Thanks again.
I’m with Bridget. I don’t have a religous thing against Halloween, I just don’t like it. I can get on board with the candy part, but that’s about it. I don’t like dressing up. I don’t like scary things. I don’t even like the trick or treating. I love fall. The leaves, the pumpkin rolls, firing up the oven and crock pot, but Halloween? No.
I think you’re doing the exact right thing. Finding what works for you and your family. That’s what mommas do.
Ha! Love that many of us who don’t care for the day itself can at least appreciate the candy aspect :) Thank you Krista. I love the way you framed that. That is exactly what we do. We find what works for us and our family. Thank you for that.
I completely agree with you. I’ve never loved Halloween, never liked the scary stuffy, but always liked the dressing up and candy!
Good for you for going with your gut and doing what is best for you and your family!
Thanks for being so positive and supportive Tricia! So nice to see that there are other parents out there who understand where I am coming from. I am not trying to rain on anyone’s parade I’m just simply doing what I believe is best for my family. I’m glad that I went with my gut and need to continue to do that in the future. Thanks again!!
Hey!
My husband grew up LOVING Halloween.
I grew up hiding out at home (we lived in the country).
When we had kids we decided to bring them to the Harvest Festival at our church.
I have since decided that i am not going to do that because I don’t like it. There is nothing wrong with it. Just the chaos is hard for me to deal with.
So this year, I am starting an annual tradition.
We invited our neighbors over to our house for a Fear Not Party. And we are serving cider and treats and having some candy buckets in the yard.
Lots of people like to celebrate the scary things of halloween and we are going to say, “You don’t need to be afraid because there is a God who loves us.” Dress up, enjoy the fall, eat lots of treats, get to know you neighbors, and share God’s word/promises.
That’s what we want to do.
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I LOVE that you are starting your own tradition with your family and especially love that it’s a “Fear Not” party. We had a praise party once just the 3 of us and it ended up being a lot of fun. How appropriate though that it would be a “Fear Not” party as we really should fear not because God is with us. Always. I think that is a beautiful way to spend the evening. I am sure the children (and the grown ups) are going to have such a great time! Enjoy your treats and the start of a very special tradition!