Well almost anyway.
This weekend allotted for a substantial amount of time for me to ponder. In between nose blowing, daytime naps and my inability to sleep during the night because I couldn’t breathe (and had slept most of the day) I had a lot of time to think. After becoming acquainted with Mrs. Guided via twitter I paid a visit to her blog. A post titled “Family Drama” immediately caught my eye not because we were dealing with family drama of our own but because of the content that immediately followed the thought provoking title. The dilemma: Her husband wants to be with his family for the holidays and she wants to be with hers.
Ah yes that dilemma, a dilemma that in our house resulted in one of us being a little unhappy for 1/2 of Christmas day, our first Christmas day as Mr., Mrs. and Little Miss. Unfortunately this is a challenge many of us in relationships are faced with during the “most wonderful time of the year”. Then again maybe it’s not so bad, the fact that some of us actually want to spend time with our families (unless of course it’s out of obligation. That we’ll leave for another day. Another post.) The Mr.’s family is very close knit and have always celebrated everything together. For me I feel even more torn as my parents are divorced and my dad’s birthday is on Christmas which means for him Christmas is all about Jesus and him. For both of us much of our family lives close by (no more than an hour from us) and because they love us so dearly they want to spend time with us not just before the holiday or after the holiday but on the actual holiday. While I think family is extremely important I also have this strong desire for my husband, daughter and I to create some of our own family traditions just the three of us and because of that I occasionally wonder is it selfish to want such a thing.
So my lovelies I ask you, how do you spend your time with extended family during the holiday season? Do you actually compromise? Do you alternate or are you fortunate enough to be able to get everyone to come together to celebrate? Are there ever any hurt feelings and if so how do you respond to that?
It’s only October but Thanksgiving will be here before you know it and as we get closer and closer to November my anxiety grows.
I’d love to hear (read) your thoughts. And afterwards please go pay a visit to Mrs. Guided. She and her husband are actually going to let you choose where they spend the holidays. Brave ones those two are! Click here to read about their dilemma and vote.
Have a lovely lovely Monday! xo.
KB
p.s. Meet Stella:
{Stella trying to wake mommy up before her sister can}
She’s our other baby. And unlike the Little Miss she chews everything and prefers to throw up on our rug . She’s the Mr.’s pride and joy and this month she turns 2 (14 in dog years)!
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8 Comments
My husbands uncle and aunt have a similar situation. Both families are very tight and she is an only child. My MIL’s side does everything together and very tight (it’s her brother who is in the pickle). They spend Thanksgiving with us, christmas morning with us but then leave mid afternoon and spend christmas afternoon/evening/dinner and boxing day with her family and we all get together again (MIL side) for NYE and have a big party and another meal NY day. It’s tough! In a way I’m sort of thankful I’m not pulled and don’t have to go through this (were not close to my fam at all). Good luck!
Wowsers! That reminds me of my husband’s family a little bit. The holidays are packed with breakfasts and dinners and game nights. I guess it does sort of make things easier that you don’t have to deal with it so much on your side. It sounds like you at least have some time with your Mr. Christmas afternoon after everyone leaves which I imagine is kind of nice. It’s great being able to enjoy spending time with everyone but I am also hoping for some quality time just us 3 (4 if you count Stella and thank you for the sweet compliment by the way) at least a little bit.
Thanks for sharing and for wishing us luck :) I think we might need it!
Also the dog is super cute!
I’ve had to split my holidays between my parents ever since I can remember, now that I’ve added a second family on, it definetly gets a bit tricky during the holiday season. We trade off between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but that means for my parents it is only every third year that they get to have their only grandchild with them. So far it has only been one season, only time will tell how this will work out. The other fact is we live in the same town as his parents, while mine live at least one travel day away. So I desire to see my family during the holidays just as much, if not more, but I do agree to trade off in fairness. It would be nice to have my family come to us and we could all celebrate together.
Stella is adorable! You’ve got some cuties taking over your home! ;-)
How thoughtful are you of everyone trading off for the holidays! Even so, I imagine it is difficult knowing that your parents don’t get to see their grandbaby. I feel like that when it comes to my mom. Since my daughter was born she was always there to greet her when she would awaken eager to celebrate. Last year was the first Christmas Nana’s face wasn’t the second face she saw when she woke up in the morning. She is also the one and only for both my mother and my mother in law and my mother in law hasn’t had as many Christmas’ with her as my mother and neither has my dad. Oh does it ever seem especially hard when grandchildren are involved. I hope things work out for you and yours this holiday season. I guess we will all just take it one holiday at a time right?! ? Thank for sharing!
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