On Staying Married for the Kids

“Don’t stay married for the kids.”

I’ve heard those words from countless men and women who somehow found themselves on the other side of marriage — divorced, and whether out of a desire for non-coupled company or just trying to do the best thing, never hesitated to advertise the greenness of their grass. To be honest, I am pretty sure I’ve said those words myself. In a sense, I wholeheartedly believe them.

You shouldn’t stay married (just) for the children, because the reality is the damage done by two people who are legally together is sometimes far worse than the damage done by those two people after they have made the decision to part.

But if you were to ask me today, at this very moment in my life, why my husband and I are still married — my response would be for our children.

As someone who helped support her family while blogging about love and relationships, it feels odd to accept the fact that some days our love feels incredibly hard. Lately, it feels like we’re just holding on to each other and our marriage by a thread. But it’s a common thread. It’s our love for our children and the family that we’ve created together.

I think that no matter how strong your relationship is, you’re going to want to quit at some point. There will be days when you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder what you’re doing. How the hell did I get here? Is this what it’s supposed to be?

There will be days when you will tally up the good and the bad to see which one outweighs the other because you aren’t 100 percent sure anymore. There will be days when you want to walk away and the only thing keeping you from doing just that are the tiny hearts that beat in the neighboring room.

Continue reading I’m So Glad We Stayed Married “For the Kids” over at Babble.

 

 

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