My husband brings out the best in me but that’s only half of the story … he also brings out the worst in me.
He brings out the parts of me that I am embarrassed to say are there. The parts that I don’t want others to see for fear that they might overshadow the good parts of whom I am, behaviors that spill out in the heat of the moment leaving us to both wonder if it was always there buried within.
It’s sort of that phenomenon where beautiful (now now, I’m not saying I’m beautiful) people can instantly turn ugly with the uttering of a few words. Isn’t that the way it often works?
Sure, we give our best to our partners. But we also give them our worst. We give them our ugly — the things that we bit our tongues about throughout the workday or carried with us on the drive home, only to spill out as we trudge into the house or engage in a disagreement with our spouse. We’re not monsters, of course, and we don’t always behave this immaturely, just enough to be occasionally reminded that we are indeed flawed.
Several months ago, our family was driving a couple hours away to attend a baptism. In the car, I read him an article on marriage featured in Deeply Rooted Magazine. A particular set of words stung, and as I swallowed them, I felt myself concurrently swallowing my pride.
“God’s going to use your spouse to show you parts of yourself that are ugly, things that are not conformed to the fullness of Christ.”
I reflected on that passage, realizing that marriage has done this — shown me my ugly. Marriage has magnified my flaws, making them impossible to ignore.
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